it's the first time i blog in my room .
and to you , i really don't know what can i tell you . you told me alot of things that i expected to hear . but it sounded fake at a point .
it just reminds me of a poem that i wrote for you last year .


When we broke up
You said you'd always love me
It's always the answer i hated .
As a friend

Always, you said we'd be friends soon
But soon, i realize you wanted nothing of me
Then i understood thats how it ends .

You said, " I feel awkward talking to you"
I guess it's always easier to lie
You finally told me that it hurts
I'll say the sorry for forcing you .

I guess it doesn't matter why we failed
Or why i love you after what you've done
I guess i have no choice but to accept my fate .

I could dream, i suppose
Forever, i could hope
There will not be any 'us', thats our destiny
So i wake up to reality .

I lied when i said i didn't love you
I lied
not because i wanted to
but because i love you
and i still do .

Maybe i've spent the last four years barking on the wrong tree
Maybe i've dreaming whats not meant to be
But i won't take you back
I already gave you everything, and i do not regret .




this is what i wrote for you a year ago . you said we'd be friends . we always acted like we were friends . but i don't think it feels we really are .
but i don't think thats gonna happen . you understood me the most . and i think you still understand me . and you know why is it so . not just me . it's both of us .
but whatever or how long it takes . i'll try . i'll try to make this happen .
and not to worry . you know i'm over you . just , it might take more time to be like REAL normal friends . i doubt you'll read my blog . but this is for you .